Are you ready?

It has been almost one year since I announced to everyone that I was pregnant. So many emotions were running rampant in my head. Emotions of surprise, joy, fear, excitement, shock, and what the hell is gonna happen?!?! Sometimes I have a hard time taking care of myself, how am I supposed to take care of another individual who needs my constant and undivided attention? How am I supposed to handle labor when everytime I stump my toe I lay down and cry on the ground in the fetal position? How do you change a DIAPER?!?! 

After all the congrats and well wishes were set in place from all of our family and friends we had to answer the same question from everyone...

Are you ready?

Hmmmm was I ready to be a mom? Was I ready to lose all my freedom? Was I ready to lose control of my body? Was I ready to start a new journey in my life when I was still trying to finish my journey of college?

If you must know, Madison was unplanned and a surprise BUT everyone was extremely happy when we announced. Justin and I had been together for 4 years at the time so it really was bound to happen sooner or later! 

I always had a set plan for how my life would pan out. Get a degree, get married, have kids, grow old. So it really threw me off balance when my life plan didn't stay on the path that I had planned. It jumped a couple of milestones and decided to switch the order of events. It took me some time to grasp my situation and come to terms on how my life would be.

Why do we make set plans? Sure it's great to have some organizations and a clear image of how you want to live your life? But do you EVER really know when you are ready to set yourself on a new journey? You don't know what married life is like or what the joys and frustrations of parenthood brings until you experience it. Analogy... you never get to know how coffee can make you feel alive and on top of the world until you try that cup of joe. You don't what the feeling entails. If you wait until you're ready, then you will be waiting to be ready for the rest of your life. Everything will be so new and different. And you don't know what all it entails until you experience it. Sure you can do research but that's just a bunch of do's and dont's, it doesn't portray the various and numerous emotions parenthood entails.

So when people asked me...

Are you ready?

I replied...

No but it's happening. I am going to be the best I can be. I will make mistakes, I will make accomplishments. Everything will change but it is a beautiful change. A change full of life and joy.

They have this saying for young moms. A beautiful saying. 

"Even though I had you young. I got to meet a little bit sooner and love you a little bit longer"

Even though my life plan did not stay in order, I would not change it for the world! Little did I know that I do NEED her in my life right now. Life without her is unimaginable. She is a beautiful little girl full of joy and happiness. She is full of Justin and I's love for each other. And that sure is a beautiful thing.

So if you are experincing a change.. It is OKAY to not be ready. I wasn't ready but it's happening and I am doing it and I am loving every single moment.